Motives

As push off time draws near the impending reality of this trip becomes palpable. Before we go further, I want to clear the air about something, namely, my opinion of blogs. As a good general rule I do not cotton to the idea of the blog. For the most part, it strikes me as a narcissistic form of literary masturbation. Even grandiose accomplishments such as climbing Everest should remain moments of personal triumph. I justify this blog on the basis that it is neither about me, nor about my adventure: Ultimately, it is about the people being served and the people of the organization, Engineers Without Borders, who serve in the hopes of improving lives through engineered infrastructure. I do not mean to preach; I can only hope that by sharing my trip and entertaining you all along the way I may be able to raise awareness and do some real good. I know Kelsey got the point as she made a Christmas donation to EWB in my honor. She really understands what is at stake and is willing to do her part.

Similarly,  I received an email today from a good friend whom I know from the Y; she is somewhat the kindred spirit, and she posed the following question:

" I don't mean to be a Nosey Parker but I'll ask again. What are you hoping to experience in Panama? Besides the opportunity to apply your new "learnin'" in an environment that won't require a suffocating lifetime commitment or the desire to be of service, there must be something else.
Are you bringing your stethoscope ?"


It was, I thought, a very good question indeed. In fact, the complete answer is probably beyond me at the moment, but here is how I answered:

"The answer is both simple and complex. Or, perhaps more correctly, there are many answers to your question. In many respects, this is precisely what I went back to school for – the ability to utilize a skill set that provides a discrete, definitive answer to a problem. That generally does not happen in medicine where you address health care problems on a long-term, sustained basis. Another reason is to satisfy my wanderlust. Again, medicine requires a steadfast presence day after day which does not lend itself to being away for long periods of time – at 20 days this is the longest I have ever been away from practice other that for a health related issue that sidelined me for close to a month a few years back. Another reason, perhaps a challenge to myself – can I hack a few weeks in a rough environment? And yeah, part of me really believes in “the cause”; water, the most essential ingredient of life, is something we take for granted in our part of the world. Aside from helping out those who lack access to this basic necessity, can I learn something from it, something that I can pass on to others? On a less altruistic note, it sure seems like a hell of a camping trip, doesn’t it? Kinda this big mashup of Kipling meets Gandhi meets Hemingway meets T.E. Lawrence. Who in their right mind could walk away from that?"

  And yes, I am bringing a stethoscope. In fact I am bringing that awesome first aid kit that is practically a field hospital. But more to the point, I am bringing multiple skill sets: engineering, construction, medicine, fluency in Spanish that this gig gives me the opportunity to utilize.

And finally, I am drawn by that far away song, the wind whistling over the desert dunes, the spatter of raindrops on broad tropical leaves, the hush as sun sets on the lagoon, the stark cry as the sun comes up over the grasslands, the moon rising over the valley floor and the great celestial bowl of the sky seen from a  latitude different than home. Is that not enough?